Positive Discipline for Preschoolers: Growing Together at Santa Clara Parents Nursery School

scpns
Sep 23
2 min read

Children working on an arts project using beads and pompoms with a teacher

At SCPNS, we believe preschool is not just about learning ABCs and sharing toys. It goes much deeper than that. Positive discipline for preschoolers is such a powerful part of how we approach teaching, parenting, and growing as a community.

Positive discipline is not about punishment or rewards. It’s also not about “gentle parenting”. It’s all about connection and helping them make good choices. It helps children feel a sense of belonging and significance while learning important life skills — like emotional regulation, cooperation, problem-solving, and empathy.

One of the tools we love comes from Jane Nelsen’s Positive Discipline approach. Her simple yet powerful guidelines help remind us that misbehavior is often a child’s way of saying, “I need help.” When we respond with curiosity instead of control, we open the door to real growth — for them and for us.

Children inspecting the plans in the school garden

Here are just a few ideas we practice at school and encourage families to use at home:

1. Connect Before You Correct

Before jumping into discipline, try connecting first — a gentle touch, getting down to eye level, or saying “I see you’re upset.” A child who feels seen is more ready to listen and cooperate.

2. Be Kind and Firm

We can be warm and hold boundaries. Saying “I won’t let you throw sand” while offering another choice shows respect for the child and for the group.

3. Invite, Don’t Command

Children respond better when they feel empowered. Instead of “Go clean that up,” we might say, “Let’s figure out how to clean this together.”

4. Mistakes Are Learning Moments

When things go sideways — and they will — we use it as a chance to grow. “You spilled your juice. What can we do to clean it up?” builds responsibility and confidence.

5. Create Routines and Agreements Together

Involving children in making decisions gives them ownership. Whether it’s choosing classroom jobs or helping set snack rules, children rise to the occasion when they feel included.